


Love & Loss

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxious Tony Stark, College Student Peter Parker, Confused Tony Stark, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:21:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23126926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Peter confesses his love to his mentor Tony Stark. But Tony doesn't feel the same way about his young protege, right?
Relationships: Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 81





	Love & Loss

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing but shameless fluff in this!!

“I - uh - actually have something to tell you. In private,” Peter said, he was rubbing the back of his neck and his eyes were glued to the floor. 

Pepper and Happy didn’t acknowledge Peter’s request, but Tony smiled.

“Sure, kid,” Tony said, placing a hand on Peter’s lower back to guide him to a separate room. Pepper and Happy watched, both looking exasperated.

Tony had been trying to make Peter feel comfortable. The Avengers could be a lot, the Stark Tower was full of shenanigans twenty-four-seven because of them. Peter was also a college student. And, being a superhero was full of its own stressful problems. So, Tony knew Peter had a handful of things that he had to deal with on a constant basis and Tony wanted to help alleviate that a little. Pepper had - very unhelpfully - told Tony that he was babying Peter. Tony pleaded the fifth. 

Tony opened the door to his office, holding it open for Peter. Peter smiled and gave Tony a curt nod, holding his head down as he rushed into the room.

The room was minimalistic, cold, and ridiculously clean. Tony’s lab was where the actual magic happened, the office was mostly an obligatory thing that Miss. Perfectionist Pepper Potts demanded they have.

Tony watched Peter stand in the center of the room. He was fidgeting and struggling to look anywhere except for where Tony stood. It was a bit pitiful, if Tony was honest. 

“What’s on your mind, kid?” Tony asked, walking up closer to Peter.

Peter looked up at him before his eyes returned their laser-focus onto the floor. Tony felt a heaviness in his heart he hadn’t felt in a while. Peter had glittering, expressive eyes that shone brighter than a million diamonds, and it burned Tony like a branding iron that he wasn’t allowed to see them. 

“Hey, what’s a matter? Look at me, you can tell me,” Tony said while gently guiding Peter to face him, trying to look sympathetic.

“I - uh - well, I uh…” Peter trailed off into silence. He looked away from Tony and sighed, his hands white from how clenched his fists were.

Tony said, “You can tell me, Pete.”

“Okay,” Peter began, “I… uh - I - just give me a second… I’m - I mean I have - there’s no real easy way of saying it, this is so… ugh…”

“Whatever you’re trying to tell me can’t be that terrible, can it?” Tony asked, jokingly. He was worried, Peter usually had zero filter and for - some inexplicable reason - Peter couldn’t even form a coherent sentence now.

Peter sighed, looking resigned to a horrific fate, “It really is.”

“I’m not bailing you out of jail and if you’re doing drugs you’re doing an impressive job at hiding it,” Tony said, “so, I think we’re on relatively good ground right now.”

The room was silent.

“Okay, yeah, drug addiction isn’t a funny joke and if you’re struggling I’ll do anything to help,” Tony said, clawing for a way to lighten the mood.

It was tense, the air heavy with both Tony and Peter on high alert. They both looked at each other when Peter winced and stated:

“I love you.”

Everything slowed, time and space itself stopped, it too shocked. In eight letters, three simple words, Peter created then destroyed Tony’s entire world. A declaration of  _ love _ . Everything around Tony faded into oblivion, the weight of Peter’s words swallowing him whole. He was sure he was having a stress-induced stroke because his and Peter’s dynamic has always been mentor and mentee. When did it change? When did Peter start developing feelings? And, most importantly, how can Tony let him down easy?

Tony only saw Peter as a mentee. A young protege to take the reigns. A bright, young flame that needed nurturing. That’s all Tony saw in Peter. While Peter was attractive and amazing all-around, he wasn’t a candidate to Tony. He never could be.

“Peter,” Tony said, trying to reel his thoughts in, “I care about you, but I don’t see you like that.”

Peter nodded, “I… expected that.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony said.

Peter was facing the window, nails digging into his palms and jaw clenched tight. He closed his eyes and hugged himself.

“Peter,” Tony began, not knowing fully where to go.

Peter shook his head, choking on a sob, “It’s okay. I need some time. Alone.”

Tony went to say something, but it died in his throat as he watched Peter rush out of the office nearly knocking into Pepper in his haste to leave. 

“What did you do, Tony?”

Tony sighed, “I don’t know.”

* 

After two weeks of no sleep on Tony’s end and silence on Peter’s end, Tony was beyond worried. But, if he reached out to Peter it might make it worse. But if he never reaches out Peter might think Tony hates him. But what if Tony reaches out only to find out Peter hates him now? But Peter might not hate him. But what if it’s too soon to reach out and Tony only drives Peter away further?

Tony didn’t know if life would be worth living without Peter.

Okay. Dark. However, Tony had a point, he knew because Peter meant a lot to Tony. Even if it wasn’t romantic. He just didn’t know how he could convince the kid to ever come back to him. Tony was caged in his mind, trying to scheme up a way to get Peter back when an all too familiar voice interrupted him:

“Hey, Mr. Stark, you free today?”

Tony jumped and scrambled to look at Peter. He was sure he looked wild - feral, as Peter would say - with his unfurled hair and wrinkled pajamas.

“Yeah,” Tony said, voice breaking “I’m free.”

“Cool,” Peter said, he still looked like a kicked puppy, but a strong kicked puppy.

Tony sighed, “Look, I am a big fan of repression, ignoring your problems, and faking it until you make it, but I think we’re going to have to talk about this whole moping thing. You deserve to be happy, Peter.”

“Right,” Peter said petulantly, “you’re really going to give me the pep talk of the century after kicking my heart in the ass.”

“Hey, I’m not saying that. I do care about you and you’re feelings, Peter, as hard as that may be to comprehend, and I think by having a mature talk we can come to terms with this,” Tony said, voice dripping with condescension.

Peter huffed, “And I’m saying that it’s annoying that the same person who claims they care about me is often the same person hurting me half the time.”

“Then why do you love me, Peter?” Tony said, immediately regretting it. The fog of sleep-deprivation quickly clearing as Peter’s betrayed and hurt face met Tony’s eyes.

Peter said, “I don’t know, Tony. I’m sure there’s someone else I can hang out with who won’t insult me straight to my face.”

“Kid, I didn’t mean it,” Tony pleaded, “I swear. You’re right that was way out of line. I don’t know why I said it. I’m sorry.”

Peter shook his head, turning away from Tony as he said, “We haven’t had enough time apart, apparently.”

Tony didn’t say anything to stop Peter from leaving. Peter was right, they needed more time apart and Tony still needed to get his shit together. He also needed to sleep or jump off a cliff, interchangeable, really.

The morning meld into the night then faded into a new morning. Even so, Tony was sure he’d find a new way to fuck it up too. Tony groaned, laying on his bed without the covers or a shirt. He kept his pajama bottoms on. They were a gift from Peter.

Tony eventually got up. And eventually, put on a pot of coffee. And eventually saw Peter laughing and having a gay old time with Steve in the lounge room.

If he was being fair to himself, he tried not to stare - glare - but it was a futile effort. Peter and Steve were scream laughing - the worst kind of laugh if you ask Tony.

“What’s so funny?” Tony asked.

Peter ignored him.

Steve was more cordial, “Well, Peter’s teaching me about memes - did I say it right?”

Peter nodded, attention fully focused on Steve as if Tony was nothing more than an inconsequential fly. Steve didn’t take notice of the tension as he went on trying to explain what a Big Chungus was.

Tony sighed, “Sounds hilarious.”

“I think it is,” Steve smiled and looked back on Peter’s phone.

Peter talked to Steve about some new meme or whatever. Completely blocking Tony out, which was fair, but fair isn’t fun. And it wasn’t what Tony wanted. To be fair, though, Tony wasn’t exactly sure he wanted anymore. But he did know that every butterfly light touch Steve placed on Peter decreased Tony’s lifespan exponentially. He didn’t understand why he was bitter out of nowhere, he’s never been like this before when Peter hung out with the other Avengers. So, why now? At literally the worst time to be an irritable asshole.

But just as reason was kicking in, Steve gently brushed a stray strand of hair out of Peter’s face and said: “You’re too beautiful to have your hair covering your face.” 

Tony hated it. He hated how much he hated it because he really had no reason to hate it as much as he hated it, but he hated it anyway. He sulked in the corner of the room. It wasn’t fair. He and Peter had been the closest of any the Avengers and now - all of the sudden - he and Peter are strangers? And Steve just swoops in like a vulture to devour the decaying carcass of their relationship.

Steve said, “That’s surprisingly deep for a meme, this is really cool, Peter, you guys have created a whole new cultural phenomenon.”

Tony watched, fury boiling his veins, as Steve’s shoulders rubbed against Peter’s. How Peter laughed at every single one of Steve’s jokes, even the objectively unfunny ones. Peter’s eyes lit up when Steve said or did something ‘cool’ and he smiled like he had just won the lottery. Tony didn’t understand why he felt this way. He didn’t even understand what he was feeling. The feeling was deep and acidic in the back of Tony’s throat, it burned in his stomach and set fire to his skin, silently but urgently insisting he get between Peter and Steve.

Steve’s boisterous laugh was akin to nails on a chalkboard. He was being too loud, not to mention, he was acting like an idiot while he sat there - way too comfortably - next to Tony’s-

Next to Tony’s… what was Peter to Tony, really?

Well,  _ shit _ .

Peter’s not Tony’s anything. Because Tony said he didn’t love Peter back. Because Tony’s an idiot. Because Tony thought about it and he definitely did love Peter.

He loved everything about Peter. Peter’s endless intelligence from solving problems, that not even Tony can, to spitting out weird facts about squids. Peter’s kindness, how he made time to help everyone he can. Peter’s humility, the way he’d blush and fluster at every compliment thrown his way. Not to mention how drop-dead gorgeous he was without even trying.

Which is why, even though they weren’t doing anything bad, Tony still wanted to rip Steven Grant Rogers’s sternum out of his body.  _ Motherfucker _ . Well, real great time for a fucking revelation while Steve is rubbing up on Peter. Tony sighed, rubbing his forehead thoroughly tired of emotions.

“Peter,” Tony called out.

Peter ignored him, pretending he had bad hearing like Tony didn’t know about his superpowers.

Tony sighed, “Peter, I know you can hear me.”

“Can I?” Peter said, looking at his phone.

Steve looked at Peter and Tony, then said: “I think something is going on here that I shouldn’t get involved in, so… Imma head out.”

Peter laughed, “Nice.”

In a look could kill, Steve’s back would be Julius Ceaser. Tony glared until Star-Spangled Spandex was entirely out of view. Then, he sat next to Peter, not as close and comfy as normal, but baby steps.

“Peter, I’m sorry for lashing out at you yesterday,” Tony said, “I have no excuse. I was immature and you made good points. I think it scared me that I might be the one hurting you and I’m so sorry.”

Peter nodded, “Yeah, you were an ass.”

“I have my own confession to make, and I understand if you still aren’t happy with me, but I’ve done some thinking and I… love you too,” Tony said, looking at Peter.

Peter turned to face Tony with a soft smile, “You mean it?”

“Yeah,” Tony said, “I was dumb for not seeing it before.”

Peter looked into Tony’s eyes and said: “I love you because you’re you, Tony.”

“Fuck,” Tony whispered, smile on lips, “just stab me next time, it’d hurt less.”

Peter laughed a teary, wet laugh - Peter’s laugh was the most amazing thing if you ask Tony - and Peter said, “Don’t encourage me, Tony, you know I’ll do it.”

Tony put his hand on Peter’s cheek, featherlight touches used to wipe away tears of happiness. Tony leaned in and kissed Peter on the forehead. 

“Does this mean we’re dating now?” Peter asked.

Tony put his forehead on Peter’s and looked into Peter’s honey-brown, hopeful eyes, he whispered: “It’s up to you.”

Peter laughed, pulling away from Tony, “We’re dating then, and no matter how hard you try you’ll never escape me.”

“The last thing I’d ever try to do is escape you,” Tony smiled. 

Tony didn’t see it, but Peter did. The way Tony’s eyes sparkled like a million diamonds and lit up like a starry night. Peter didn’t see it, but Tony did. The way Peter’s smile could light a fire on a cold night and melt a frozen heart. 

But both of them saw that they were meant for each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, that was cute, I hope! Speaking of hope, I hope you enjoyed and here is all the love just for you 💖💖!!
> 
> Come talk to me at starker-oasis on tumblr!


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